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Today is cloudy. I am able to take note of this because I sit here
looking like the biggest idiot in the world, staring at the sky. I am
on the street corner alone waiting for her to come. When I asked her
out it was a clear day. I doubted that she would be able to keep a
straight face. Then she said yes, with a face that was perfectly
straight. I had gone over to talk to her because I had been dared to,
and I didn't want to look like a wimp. Anticipating a quick "no," I
hadn't thought of all the specifics that I needed to: where we going
to eat, what we were going to eat, and what if she didn't want to eat
at all. Maybe she had just wanted coffee and I had pressured her into
a meal and that sent her off and that's why she is late and that's why
I am on the corner looking like an idiot.
Wait, a cab is pulling up. Is it her? No....wait...no, that was some redhead with a worried look on her face. I don't know why she stared at me as I turned away. Perhaps it is the fact that I am standing on this corner all dressed up while the rest of the free world moved on around me. I watched the redhead until she turned the corner out of my sight. This girl I'm supposed to meet, she's not a redhead. Her hair is blonde. It is wavy and doesn't stick together when she moves. It flows around her and it compliments the rest of her when she turns her head to smile at you. It has a smell that I can't describe, but a single whiff of it is all it takes to remind me of the girl I am waiting to see. I like to be reminded of her. I wonder if she likes me. I tried to make it so that my hair didn't stick out in the back. How am I supposed to able to see all those things? I am sure that she will notice. It must have taken me a good hour to get ready to get here and I could have used a little bit more time to get myself more ready. I didn't even think that I might need an umbrella. I didn't check the weather. Wonderful. All the preparation, and this can all end with me soaked. There are too many clouds. Maybe I should just go. She is already 15 minutes late. This is it, this is probably the joke. She says yes, I wait here forever. That's just wonderful. Well, but she seemed to smile when I asked her. She has a crooked smile. It's not perfect at all. I mean, I think its perfect, but it's crooked. When she smiles, it seems like one side of her mouth moves up higher then the other. She usually has the left side go higher. She likes the left side more I think; that's where she always starts. I like to make her smile just to see which side is higher. That makes me smile. I glance at my watch once more seeing that it is only two minutes later then the last time I looked. It seems much longer then that. She has been late enough for an eternity. I bought her some stickers of kittens. I really don't like stickers but I know she does and flowers seemed a little too cliched. I hope she likes kittens. The fool I make of myself in my mind is not nearly as big as the one I am to all these countless people passing me. I wonder if they have people who they like in the same way that I like her. It seems they wouldn't be so rude if they did. They would be happy to take their time and not bump into me. Maybe that's it, maybe shes taking her time because she likes me. The feelings people have for each other are so weird at times. She is late and the day is cloudy and it has started to rain. Now I am the only one here. Wonderful. I think it is time I get my cab and face the long line of messages on the machine when I get home. All of them I am sure will be full of laughter from the countless people who I am sure have heard of my ignorance by now. I was stupid to even think that she would lower herself to be here. The day couldn't be any worse. The rain, the wasted stickers and the humiliation all rolled into one nice little package. Everyone has moved inside and the hustle that was around me moments ago has been exchanged for a blank wet sidewalk. I knew it was too cloudy today. There, that's someone. This person is a block down and I can see them laughing from here. I've had enough. As I get closer a familiar smell sets in. Within moments I know who it is. Her hair, as drenched as mine, can still do nothing but add color to the beautiful painting that is her. Her eyes close with every laugh and her smiles are crooked starting from the left. She stops laughing for one moment as I hand her the stickers and she looks straight into my eyes, takes my hand, and smiles. Today is a gorgeous day. |
Reflections can be sent to Larry Behrens
Copyright © 1999 by Larry Behrens