Beauty and despair are mingled with nothingness.
Your eyes are innocent,
Floating with the glimmer of love while you drown
In the stale black water that has enveloped you.
You said it was my fault.
I held you with frail, trembling arms.
I tried to love.
I tried to care.
I tried to push myself away from the inevitable.
You promised with sneering lips.
Truth spilled from your eyes when you looked away.
You had no tears.
You had no remorse.
In your cruel way, you enticed me into staying.
How could I not?
All I've ever had has belonged to you.
In your eyes I see the reflection of what I wish I was.
I shed my skin and dress in disease.
I wish I was pretty.
I wish I was ill.
I wish I could melt away from all that I am
and transform into some fantastic version of Her.
You know who I speak of,
She dances in your eyes.
That long lost love who left,
Who shadowed away and left you with
Dry-heaves and that fierce aching
That never quite went away.
You fell on razor-grazed palms
And reached for anything that could save you.
All the pain you inhale will not push the memory away.
You expect me to be a shade of
What I cannot understand.
And now you lie so docile.
Because you cannot shape me.
I will not listen.
And you can no longer teach.
I crave your beauty.
I need your pain.
You complete this unsightly equation.
Still, I am nothing to you.
You whisper aching words of adoration,
But your heart has become bitter and twisted.
Together we ache for release,
For a chance of anything but what we are.
Though we take refuge in each others arms,
It is meaningless, a blackened void.
We cling to all we believe,
Night after night, before turning the other way.